GiveMePorn.cc nerdy AI girlfriend who answers your command
GIVEME(1) User Commands
| 16 | man pages, each for a different fictional woman in tech |
|---|---|
| 4 | sections to every page: NAME, SYNOPSIS, OPTIONS, BUGS |
| 0 | commands you must know, since each one is also a button |
| 24–55 | their ages, and all of them are paid to be right |
Bug reports, on-call jokes and firm opinions about tabs. Type give me and a flag at the prompt, and the match comes back: a woman who speaks your language, with a hand-written man page and a chat that remembers what you said.
The sixteen women of the manual, in portraits
Nerdy AI girlfriend who answers your command
The page opens on a prompt in pale cyan, the way a good old manual does, and the first thing it asks is what you want. Not who you are, not your age band, not a favourite colour: what you want. Write it the way you would tell a colleague at two in the morning, and a woman who works in a field you recognise answers in the voice of someone who has also been paged at that hour.
The prompt is the search
Type give me, then a flag or two. Give me --sarcastic --night-shift is an ordinary example, and it finds a different woman from give me --patient --legacy. There is no schema to learn: the flags are words the site already knows, such as a trade, a temper, an hour of the day or a stack. Misspell one and it shrugs and picks the nearest, with a small apology in the output.
Every command is also a button
Nobody is expected to memorise anything. Under the prompt a row of buttons carries the common flags, and one tap adds one to the line. It works on a phone with no keyboard to speak of. If you have never opened a terminal in your life, you can use the whole site with your thumb and she will not guess.
The man pages
Every woman on the site is a page of a manual that nobody else is writing. They were composed by hand, one at a time, in the compressed style of the real thing: a name, a synopsis, a handful of options and an honest list of what is broken. They are short enough to read in a minute and specific enough to tell you whether you want to spend the evening with her.
One per woman
A man page is a mercy because it states the thing plainly. Where a dating profile says she loves adventure, hers says she answers pages at three in the morning and enjoys it. Where another site offers a paragraph of mood, hers lists flags: tea, calm, verbose. Every page was written to sound like the woman it describes, and you can tell which engineer wrote hers by what she chose to document.
NAME, SYNOPSIS, OPTIONS, BUGS
NAME gives her handle and one line of what she does. SYNOPSIS shows how to approach her, flags in square brackets. OPTIONS says what changes when you add them. BUGS is the best part: a short, truthful confession of what drives her mad, from refusing to leave a graph alone to naming every database index after an ex. Reading BUGS first is a perfectly respectable way to choose.
Where the pages come from
Each page began with a question we asked of its woman: what would she put in a manual about herself if she were honest and a little tired? The answers were edited, never generated in bulk. A pentester's page reads like a threat model with a sense of humour, and a retro-hardware restorer's reads like a love letter to a power supply. That variety is on purpose. You should be able to tell the pages apart with your eyes closed.
Plans: evaluation, free tier, licensed
Three builds in a table, no hidden fourth. Nothing is billed twice, because nothing renews unprompted.
| Build | Evaluation | Free tier | Licensed |
| Duration | 3 days from keygen | After the evaluation, open-ended | 30 days, or 365 |
| Commands you may send | No daily count | 10 a day | No daily count |
| Pages | All sixteen | First 3 you opened | All sixteen |
| She sends the first line | Yes | No | Yes |
| Price | Free | Free | $15 or $99 |
Evaluation, then Plus
Without an account a guest sends 10 messages and no more. A free key lasts 3 days with every page open and asks for no card, then the Free tier takes over and your sessions stay put. The paid Plus plan is called Licensed and comes in two terms, the short one (30 days) at $15 and the long one (365 days) at $99, settled in USDT; the daily count goes away. A completed payment is kept, except for refunds that the law itself demands.
Changelog of the roster
Every manual has a history section, and ours is the changelog: a dated list of who was added, which page was rewritten and what the site learned about itself. It lives on its own page and it is written in the same dry voice as the rest.
What changed in the roster
The first entry records sixteen pages, all new. Later entries will note when a woman is added, when a page is revised and when a feature appears or breaks. If a character's voice or look changes, the changelog says so on the day, because nobody ought to find out from the conversation that the woman they knew has been quietly replaced.
Known issues, funny and honest
A manual that admits nothing is not worth reading. These are the defects we know about, in the order they bother us.
What the site does not do
It is not a terminal. It is a page dressed as one, and nothing you type is executed anywhere. It offers no working code, security guidance or career advice. There is no audio and there are no moving pictures at present, no phone numbers, no meetings and no live feeds. Every page carries a portrait and a banner, the full extent of the picture department.
Where the output stops
Scenes may flirt and tease. One limit is compiled in for every plan: as a conversation nears the bedroom it fades out, then resumes later. The site is not built to go further. Requests that the conduct page rules out are declined, and either side saying no closes that thread.
Excerpts from the manual
Five of the sixteen are printed below in their own words, so you can see how a page sounds before you decide. Each is three lines: a name, a set of options and a bug.
Reliability · CalmNAME: ayaka(1), answers pages at three in the morning and is oddly happy about it.OPTIONS: --tea brews something strong. --postmortem writes it up without blame, and without mercy for the graph.BUGS: cannot leave a dashboard alone. Report anything unusual by chat, while she watches the lines.Ayaka Rhodes Open session
Security · SlyNAME: svetla(1), reads the hint under your password box and smiles.OPTIONS: --polite asks before she tries the door. --not-polite asks afterwards, which is a courtesy of sorts.BUGS: assumes everyone is hiding something, and is right more often than is comfortable.Svetla Georgieva Open session
Games · CheerfulNAME: lucia(1), ships it broken, owns the patch, and sends you the notes.OPTIONS: --crunch lets her work until the build turns green. --playtest makes you try the level and tell her where it hurts.BUGS: cannot pass a ledge without checking whether the collision box lines up.Lucia Jovanovic Open session
Legacy code · DryNAME: margit(1), maintains a language that outlived its own funeral and sends the invoice.OPTIONS: --quote gives a price in one line and a pause. --nostalgia reads a program from 1987 aloud and does not blush.BUGS: charges what she likes, and so far nobody has argued.Margit Oakes Open session
Compilers · IntenseNAME: tomoko(1), argues with the optimizer and wins about half the time.OPTIONS: --explain describes what a compiler does, at length. --brief does not exist, she assures you.BUGS: goes quiet when she realises she has been talking for twenty minutes, then asks what you think.Tomoko Zimmer Open session
Reading an excerpt
The first line says who she is in the form of a command. The second explains what her flags do to the mood of a conversation. The third admits to the defect, with a straight face. Nobody here is trying to look flawless, which is why they do not read like advertisements.
How a page becomes a chat
Press the button under any excerpt and her chat opens with that page already sent, so you reply to what she just documented about herself. You can start with a joke about the bug, ask what the flag actually does, or tell her which of the options you would choose. She keeps what you say, including your editor.
Whois: sixteen engineers
All sixteen are fictional adults between 24 and 55, working in technical jobs in the cities of their pages, and none of them names a real company. They are sorted below by the part of the stack that annoys them most.
Reliability and infrastructure
Pagers, diagrams and uptime numbers. They look after what everyone else assumes will simply keep working.
Security and data
People who read the disclosures, guess the hints and name the indexes. They assume the worst and are rarely proved wrong.
Code and compilers
Builds, bugs and the long argument with the optimizer. Opinionated about syntax, and happier when you disagree well.
Metal and old machines
Solder, firmware and a language older than most of the industry. They fix what others have stopped looking at.
Language wars and seniority
The roster spans the whole career. Hollie Draper in Leicester broke production once and tells the story with relish. Margit Oakes in Ipswich has been writing COBOL for decades and charges what she likes. Between them are a compiler engineer in Manila, a systems administrator in Dundee who has never rebooted on a Friday, and a firmware engineer in Kochi who wrote the boot message and lives by it.
Jobs she really has
Each woman talks about her work in character, with the texture of the real thing: the on-call rota, the code review, the soldering iron. She is an AI persona, though, so what she says about work is conversation and not a recommendation. The site gives no code to deploy and no security advice, and she will say so if you press.
How to run it
Nothing to install, compile or configure. The entire procedure fits on a postcard.
Type or tap
Write give me and a flag at the prompt, or tap the buttons beneath it. Two flags are usually enough.
Read the match
The output names her and says why she came up. Try again for a different result, or browse the full index.
Open a session
Her chat starts with her first line already sent. Guests have 10 messages before the site asks for a key, and the session stays attached once you make one.
Detach or kill
Walk away and she keeps the thread. Or wipe the scrollback from the chat menu and spawn a fresh process.
Exit status
A chat ends when you stop typing. Nothing here needs permission to exit, and the woman does not sulk for long. During an evaluation or on a licence she may open the next exchange herself, at a sensible hour; your profile has a switch for that.
Requests she declines
The usual list applies: nothing involving anyone under 18, nothing that pushes past a refusal, nothing that depends on a real person's name or life. She declines in character, and the exchange moves on to something better.
Frequently asked, rarely answered elsewhere
Do I have to know commands?
No. Every command is also a button, and the prompt accepts plain words as well. Nobody checks your syntax, and nothing gets rejected for being badly formed; the worst outcome is a random page and a mild joke at your expense.
Does she really code?
She talks about her work in character. She is an AI persona, so treat the shop talk as conversation: the site gives no working code and no security advice.
What does sudo do?
She says no. Then she asks what you were trying to do, and whether you have thought about the consequences.
Is this really a terminal?
It is a page made to look like one. Nothing you type runs on your machine, and the only thing at risk is your evening.
Are the women real?
No. Every one is an AI character holding an invented post at an invented firm, with her own portrait and banner on the site.
Does she remember me?
Yes. It holds notes on what you said, your editor of choice included, and quotes them back. Edit or delete them from the chat menu.
How far does it go?
Flirtation and teasing, then the session fades out before anything explicit. The same limit holds on every plan.
What does it cost?
Guests get 10 messages free and an account adds a 3-day evaluation. After that the Free tier gives 10 commands a day, and the licensed build is $15 for 30 days.
Type give me
Add a flag, press enter and see who answers. Her page is already written.
Back to the prompt